Knights of the New Republic

Session 21 - Q'aelane's Journal

Q’aleane sits in here often seen meditative pose on the bridge. Outwardly she appears to be the picture of peace. Inside it is another story.

She stands over a placid lake, pacing. In the distance is what can only be compared to a cantina game target. Except larger and much further away. As she paces she periodically throws something at it with high speed. The end result is usually the disillusion of the board into pieces and its immediately re-creation. Her thoughts seem to be causing a small amount of rippling on the surface of the lake.

Bored now. (thunk, distant crash)

I know my sister wants me to keep out of trouble but I haven’t pushed myself in a week. (thunk, distant crash)

No, longer than a week now. (miss)

Her miss seems to pull her up short for a moment… she stares off into the distance.

Oh… tricky, I see what you did there… moved it closer but made it smaller. Nice… (thunk, distant crash)

She quiets for a bit as she plays against the part of her mind she carved out to challenge herself. (thunk, crash, thunk, crash, thunk, crash…). Ultimately she gets up to four targets randomly spawning around herself before she gets bored with the game and lays down. At this point the lake under her is decidedly unstill. Not broiling in agitation, more like a lake where a thousand pebbles were randomly dropped around and the ripples keep playing off each other.

For a moment the part of her brain creating targets doesn’t catch up and creates a couple in the sky above her, but she waves them aside and re-incorporates those thought processes. For a while she just clears her mind as she stares off into a sky filled with stars that don’t seem to match the sky of Dathomir. For a short while she tries to work out which sky she is looking at but eventually she just shrugs and chalks it up to her imagination.

Her mind and by extension the lake below her finally calms and she sits for a while just staring.

Eventually a fragment of a thought flies by, something about pulling apart force energy to see if it is additive to the base or subtractive. This gets her half absently thinking about experiments she could do until she realizes what the is thinking about and starts pacing again trying to keep her mind on some other subjects.

How do people do this? Others don’t seem to have a problem keeping their hands out of the universe’s cookie jar. Back when I was at the academy, there was always something to think about, meditate on, contemplate, understand. I was never bored. Even when others were going stir crazy because they were assigned a task to learn how to meditate or think on nothing, that was something to ponder or contemplate to me. A challenge.

The thought of contemplating thinking about nothing makes her pause. Not for the first time. She ponders for a while and then dismisses it to the corners of her mind again.

But this, this is just banal waiting. Is this what I am getting myself into by leaving the order?

Almost absently she divides off a part of her subconscious to create random puzzles. She then proceeds to interact with the virtual puzzles solving them.

(Q’aleane sighs) I love my sister, I really do but she can’t expect me to just stop trying to understand things. It’s just not who I am.

Two puzzles at a time.

I will have to talk to her about it but, not now. She is under enough stress.

Four puzzles at a time.

She is not coping well with the stress, I am not sure she realizes she has a choice anymore.

The puzzles stop being 3 dimensional.

I have to wonder what Irsin is thinking seeing this in her. But then again I don’t know that he is all that stress free right now. Coming face to face with him has certainly put us all off balance a bit.

The puzzles keep ratcheting in complexity, increasing in dimensions and eventually she spends all her time and effort solving them.

For a time she seems almost happy… but then she starts to notice the pattern her mind is using to generate them and they become boring again.

She waves them aside and sits down.

Maybe I will focus on what next. After all we are not going to be stuck on Dathomir for long. How am I going to engineer it so we can pursue our quest without stepping all over the Jedi order and becoming enough of a nuisance that they feel the need to deal with us.

After a while of contemplation she stands up and starts pacing while thinking about it. In the corner of her mind she starts creating cantina targets again. (thunk, crash, thunk, crash, thunk, crash, crash) Her thoughts wander again to the nature of the force.

Bored now (thunk, distant crash)

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aelana

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