Knights of the New Republic

Q'aleane's Meditations

As Q’Aleane Ren lays in her bed meditating on the words of the master holocron, she builds a mental landscape around her. She is seated hovering over a large calm lake out of which a burst of water seems to be stuck in time. That burst of water has a flat side that she sits facing and is calm in its time frozen state enough that it forms a mirror of sorts that she can see herself. She seems to proceed to use this mirror image as a way of bouncing ideas off her self.

Q’Aleane:
Well that certainly is a disturbing possibility, a psychotic break. I had considered the possibility but maybe it is worth reconsidering.

Reflection:
But how can we know? Isn’t by its nature a psychotic break unknowable by the person having it?

Q’Aleane:
There in lies the problem. However I also don’t think a psychotic break would result in me feeling stronger and more in control. Prior to the experience I had no control over my emotions, it felt like I was on a roller coaster, this planet was pushing my moods this way and that. Since then, I feel more in control.

Reflection:
True although we are having more emotional responses, I feel more myself than I have in a very long time. Perhaps more myself than I have ever been.

Q’Aleane:
But how much of that is an illusion like this reflection? Why can’t I remember it directly?

Reflection:
Maybe we choose not to due to the pain involved in the process? It does feel like we were torn down completely and allowed to rebuild ourselves stronger. The recollection of that pain might just return over time but we might have it locked away for now to help assimilate the new understandings it brought.

Q’Aleane:
That would explain why parts of the experience are returning. Still, we do have to be sure.

Reflection:
True, we are about to have our mental strength tested more than ever before if our previous contact was any indication.

Q’Aleane:
Indeed, and Q’ayla is in some ways faring worse in this world.

Reflection:
Though she does seem to have found an external center around Irsin and gained some measure of strength from it.

Q’Aleane:
True, that is the oddest thing about my self-meditation. The trigger seems so unlike us. I don’t think I am upset about Irsin and Q’ayla, in fact I think I am happy that it is happening. But obviously something happened that caused us to react so strongly emotionally.

Reflection:
That part is easy.

Q’Aleane:
Do tell.

Reflection:
We felt like we were loosing control over everything after almost loosing her with that fight with Irsin. After that having both of them react so negatively to how we thought made us feel… abandoned and alien.

Q’Aleane:
Hmm… I suppose, combined with the negative amplification that the planet seems to be exerting that would certainly explain it. I am glad it seems to be dampened on the ship.

At the mention of the ship, she looks at the horizon on one side and sees the ship status abstracted and assures herself that all is well. She also looks up to track the patterns to make sure the external influences are being kept to a minimum by her mental exercises and begins to look towards her sister but decides that for now it would probably be better for Q’ayla if she did not intrude.

Reflection:
All looks well I trust?

Q’Aleane:
Indeed, although I am still worried about Q’ayla, I am hoping Irsin can help where I can’t. And the mental exercises are holding for now on this ship although I do feel the pull much more strongly when I leave the ship.

Reflection:
It is fortunate that the Praxium seems to have a similar effect.

Q’Aleane:
Damn, I forgot to talk to the holocron about that. I was hoping for a way to magnify it. Oh well, enough to think about for now, will store that away for tomorrow.

Reflection:
Noted.

Q’Aleane:
Now back to the problem at hand,
1. Was it a mental breakdown?

Reflection:
And if so what can we do about it?

Q’Aleane:
2. How can we best prepare to deal with a possible Shaman?

Reflection:
If that is indeed what we are dealing with.

Q’Aleane:
3. What is going on with this chuff-sucking planet.

Reflection
And of course what can we do about it or should we leave?

Q’Aleane:
Ok, #1. We can’t exactly have a mental breakdown and compare notes can we?

Reflection:
No that would be… imprecise at best and damaging at worst.

Q’Aleane:
Right, and we have to know, because of #2. We need to be sure.

Reflection:
Right.

Q’Aleane:
And given Barukka’s response, she is unable to shed any light on it.

Reflection:
And she would be the most likely to know.

Q’Aleane:
Right.

(Both pause for a moment looking inward.)

Reflection:
Come at it from a different angle?

Q’Aleane:
Ok, we can try to “cross over” or interact with the spirits and compare notes.

Reflection:
That brings its own dangers.

Q’Aleane:
Yes, but do we really have a choice? If we are dealing with someone who has dealt with that realm and we have no concrete experience with it, we are not able to protect Q’ayla from it. Heck we almost died coming into contact with whatever Master Durach had become.

Reflection:
I don’t think this is something she can fight with her lightsaber.

Q’Aleane:
Right. And she is not in the headspace now to deal with something like this.

Reflection:
True.

Q’Aleane:
Ok I think #2 and #3 are wrapped up into this one.

Reflection:
For now, I accept that premise.

Q’Aleane:
Now I don’t want to experience what I experienced before with this experiment.

Reflection:
Obviously.

Q’Aleane:
So ….

Reflection:
The patterns.

Q’Aleane:

Q’Aleane pauses to ponder this for a while while the reflection just stares at her.

I suppose that could make sense. Take as a possible premise that the patterns we see in the force are reflective of this other world. And that the expression of these patterns are caused either by the will or personality of the spirits inhabiting that world.

Reflection:
Ok I can go along with that premise.

Q’Aleane:
The dark one that seems to be manipulating things might correspond with whatever I interacted with that night.

Reflection:
And might be what is powering whatever Master Durach has become or is being manipulated by.

Q’Aleane:
Lets make the leap and say that what the holocron is detecting is another of these patterns.

Reflection:
That would make it an expression of the will or power of an entity more aligned with how we think.

Q’Aleane:
Right. Now we were drawn to the other due to a confluence of severe emotional responses that set our own internal pattern closer to that one’s pattern.

Reflection:
Ok.

Q’Aleane:
What if we identify the pattern, use it to match our own state like we did with the others when we damped their emotions and then…

Reflection:
And then what?

Q’Aleane:
Indeed, what pushed us over if we were in fact pushed over.

Reflection:
And how can we do it willfully and completely.

Q’Aleane:
Ok work with me here, this could be a bunch of bunk but it is worth a try, at least as a first attempt.

Reflection:
You are thinking about using this space.

Q’Aleane:
Right. We have used this mental space before to cause effects in the force which could in turn affect reality. And here we can deal in abstractions and concepts easier.

Reflection:
Right. In fact that was the way we first used force move, the meditation spheres. So given that, we can join this space with the patterns around us while outside the ship…

Q’Aleane:
And once we have that down…

Reflection:
We need to make sure we really get it down.

Q’Aleane:
Indeed, once we get it down, we identify the patterns by separating them… and then once we identify the right one, we walk through it.

Reflection:
I wonder what that will do.

Q’Aleane:
Possibly nothing at all, but it is worth at try.

Reflection:
This could be dangerous.

Q’Aleane:
Yes, but what other choice do we have. If we try to confront whatever it was we confronted before, we will fail. No one we have interacted with has any better idea of what is going on than we do. The holocron has no further insights that help either. What choice do we have?

Reflection:
None really.

Q’Aleane:
Ok how about this… We have the ship follow and record everything. We start on the top of the ship and instruct it if we walk off of it somehow to follow if it can and record everything. It can also react to keep us safe. And if push comes to shove at least the others know where we are and have a record of what happened.

Reflection:
Ok, we should find a place nearby that the feeling of that gray feels stronger since it seems to vary.

Q’Aleane:
Indeed… we should prepare first.

At that thought, the water finishes its splash, returning to the lake which ripples for a short period of time and then calms. Once calm, Q’aleane meditates deeper preparing for the mental task ahead. After a short time in the physical world, she stands up walks out to the bridge and up to the ship’s roof and begins her preparations.

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